Husbands & Wives at the Bridge Table

Full Disclosure: I play most of my bridge with my husband as my partner, and I love playing with him.

However, I tend to think that playing with your spouse is a terrible idea. We've all been there when some couple rips into each other. Maybe it was a big mistake or maybe someone is just making a mountain out of a molehill, but there's no place for that kind of behavior at the table. It makes others incredibly uncomfortable, and do you really think you can have a good game if you're furious with one another? It's fun for no one.

Not every couple bickers or fights, but I think that we are generally more inclined to lose our tempers when we play with a spouse. We're comfortable with them and have fewer boundaries, and we censor ourselves less, blowing up at little things we'd overlook if we were just playing with a friend. McKenzie has never lost his temper with me -- he has the patience of a saint, honed to perfection over his years as a bridge pro. I do have a tendency to flip out, but he is such a better player than I am that I usually know I'm wrong before I start. Our bridge conflicts have been minimal.

While I don't think it's great for couples to play together, I do think it's important that they share the hobby. Many a marriage has ended or been strained when one half of the partnership wants to spend all of their free time at bridge games, leaving the other behind. It's such a time consuming hobby, I decided before I even started dating my husband that I didn't want to marry someone who wasn't a bridge player. I knew I wouldn't want to give up all my bridge games and traveling, so I would need to find someone who'd go with me.

McKenzie and I don't always play together, and I'm working on building partnerships with others in our circle of friends. Hopefully I'll never find myself wanting to throw my cards at him, but if it ever comes to that, I'll know it's time to stop playing together, lest we doom ourselves to play solely with one another forever, having alienated all our other potential partners with such ghastly outbursts.

If you're someone who fights with your significant other at the bridge table, I beg you, on behalf of all of your teammates and opponents, to seek out new partnerships. And if you're someone who fights with everyone you play with (you know who you are), why do you even play this game? Are you really having fun?

It's competition and it requires serious intellect and concentration, but patience and kindness are a huge part of the game as well -- no matter who your partner is.